So...I've been having a rough week.
Regan left for Iraq last Tuesday and ever since then, I've had a run of bad luck and have been stuck in a major funk. I started work at JR Rockers (that restaurant I hate) and it's been going so bad. I can't stand it. I'm determined to stick it out, though! For the good of the family! I bumped the curb driving down to the base yesterday and popped a tire on Regan's car. The new *fun* camera I got already broke - I didn't even get one role of film out of it! I got bleach on one of my favorite shirts last night. I'm just...sad. I miss Regan a lot. Like, so much it causes me physical pain sometimes (like right now, for instance). I'm totally unmotivated to do anything. I just want to sit around doing nothing and feeling bad about it. Also, I've been eating junk food like crazy (downed a whole box of mini magnum bars. yeah.). I WANT to be productive and have a sunny disposition again...but at the same time, I want to be sad and miserable and cry about everything that goes wrong.
I realize...that I'm being horribly ungrateful and dramatic. It's like I can't help myself!
On the plus side, I did weed the strawberry patch yesterday and Beth said she picked up some tomato plants for me. To be honest, when I was in the garden yesterday, it was one of the few times I've felt peace since Regan left. I think I need to be in the Garden more often.
Anyway, I really AM grateful to have a job, albeit a horrible one, because I know a lot of other people back in the states would love to have my job! I'm also REALLY REALLY grateful to Heavenly Father for watching over me yesterday when I blew that tire - he placed that nice German man in the right spot at exactly the right time and he, literally, saved me. I was crying like a baby and he just got out of his car and said "where is your spare" and changed it for me. Just like that. It was a miracle. I'm 100% convinced and nothing you say can change my mind!
But I still miss Regan *sigh*
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Workin' Girl: Starting Over
I think that sounds like the title of a book or something. Like the series is called "Working Girl" and this is the 3rd book in the series, with the first two being "Dream Job" and "The New Boss" haha.
So today I went through 86th Services orientation again. I just did it 2 months ago, so it was pretty fresh...which made today pretty boring. 8 AM - 2:30 PM - it was basically like one huge AFN commercial. And the people in the class with me were...interesting. There was one woman who was in her 40's who had worked with services before and seemed kind of confused about who was running the class - when people would ask the instructor questions, this woman would answer. And in case any of us were in doubt of how well she knew all the inner workings of EVERYTHING, she would interrupt the instructor during her explanations and nod knowingly while saying things like "yup" or "that's right" or "mmhm" to EVERYTHING that was said in the class. I'm a nice person, so of course I would never say anything...but there were a few times that I could tell the instructor was annoyed, and more than a few times that I was tempted to say "please...we get it. You've been through this. Could you just shut up?" The class got very comfortable, I guess, because towards the end people were just having random outbursts of personal stories that were littered with expletives. Really?? They all came across as SO low class...why do people talk like that? Especially in that kind of environment. But whatever. I was pretty quiet for most of the time - bored + tired = not as likely to participate. Plus the instructor recognized me and before every knew section would say "Now I know this is old news for you, Jessica, but bare with me" which would lift any obligation on my part to participate in the question/answer section since that would be unfair to those who had never been through the process before. At least...that's the excuse I used.
My fingernails are so long!! They have been growing like crazy ever since we moved here, I swear. It makes it hard to type, but usually I'm too lazy to go get the clippers. Maybe I should just see how long I can get them before they break haha.
Anyway, when we got done, I went straight over to JR Rockers to do some more in processing stuff. I pretty much bolted as soon as orientation was over even though I knew one of the girls in the class wanted to talk to me or something after. Here's my problem - I'm really friendly. I'll strike up random conversation and I'm good at looking and sounding interested. The problem is, it's usually not because I'm actually interested in forming any kind of long-lasting bond with a person. More likely, it's because I have nothing better to do. If I had ANYTHING else to occupy myself with, I would. So, as is often the case, the girl took a liking to me and wanted to be friends IRL or something...and I definitely wasn't interested. So...I just left in a hurry haha. It's funny, though, because earlier this week when I went in to turn in paper work, the girl I ended up dealing with had anime-style drawings all over her wall. We struck up a conversation and believe it or not, I actually AM interested in forming some kind of long-lasting bond with her! I hope we hang out and do stuff (anime party? cosplay party? some kind of party?) together. It's been a while since I've been interested in making a friend, so I hope I don't blow this by being distant and ignoring her haha!
Anyway, so over at JR Rockers, I had to read and sign a ton of papers, but I couldn't finish doing whatever it was I needed to do because the manager was in a meeting or something. Now I get to go back tomorrow morning. I don't care, though - I was ready to leave. I've been SO tired all day! I'm also really sore! I've been KILLING myself lately with work outs. I can barely lift my arms and every time I sit up, my stomach muscles scream at me! And lets not forget my legs! So stiff and sore waaaaaaah!!! It's good, though. Love the pain, right?? If I can keep this up for the next 6 weeks, I'll be in great shape when Regan gets back from Iraq!!
Anyway, I'm super tired and I think I'll try to nap for a little bit before Regan gets home.
So today I went through 86th Services orientation again. I just did it 2 months ago, so it was pretty fresh...which made today pretty boring. 8 AM - 2:30 PM - it was basically like one huge AFN commercial. And the people in the class with me were...interesting. There was one woman who was in her 40's who had worked with services before and seemed kind of confused about who was running the class - when people would ask the instructor questions, this woman would answer. And in case any of us were in doubt of how well she knew all the inner workings of EVERYTHING, she would interrupt the instructor during her explanations and nod knowingly while saying things like "yup" or "that's right" or "mmhm" to EVERYTHING that was said in the class. I'm a nice person, so of course I would never say anything...but there were a few times that I could tell the instructor was annoyed, and more than a few times that I was tempted to say "please...we get it. You've been through this. Could you just shut up?" The class got very comfortable, I guess, because towards the end people were just having random outbursts of personal stories that were littered with expletives. Really?? They all came across as SO low class...why do people talk like that? Especially in that kind of environment. But whatever. I was pretty quiet for most of the time - bored + tired = not as likely to participate. Plus the instructor recognized me and before every knew section would say "Now I know this is old news for you, Jessica, but bare with me" which would lift any obligation on my part to participate in the question/answer section since that would be unfair to those who had never been through the process before. At least...that's the excuse I used.
My fingernails are so long!! They have been growing like crazy ever since we moved here, I swear. It makes it hard to type, but usually I'm too lazy to go get the clippers. Maybe I should just see how long I can get them before they break haha.
Anyway, when we got done, I went straight over to JR Rockers to do some more in processing stuff. I pretty much bolted as soon as orientation was over even though I knew one of the girls in the class wanted to talk to me or something after. Here's my problem - I'm really friendly. I'll strike up random conversation and I'm good at looking and sounding interested. The problem is, it's usually not because I'm actually interested in forming any kind of long-lasting bond with a person. More likely, it's because I have nothing better to do. If I had ANYTHING else to occupy myself with, I would. So, as is often the case, the girl took a liking to me and wanted to be friends IRL or something...and I definitely wasn't interested. So...I just left in a hurry haha. It's funny, though, because earlier this week when I went in to turn in paper work, the girl I ended up dealing with had anime-style drawings all over her wall. We struck up a conversation and believe it or not, I actually AM interested in forming some kind of long-lasting bond with her! I hope we hang out and do stuff (anime party? cosplay party? some kind of party?) together. It's been a while since I've been interested in making a friend, so I hope I don't blow this by being distant and ignoring her haha!
Anyway, so over at JR Rockers, I had to read and sign a ton of papers, but I couldn't finish doing whatever it was I needed to do because the manager was in a meeting or something. Now I get to go back tomorrow morning. I don't care, though - I was ready to leave. I've been SO tired all day! I'm also really sore! I've been KILLING myself lately with work outs. I can barely lift my arms and every time I sit up, my stomach muscles scream at me! And lets not forget my legs! So stiff and sore waaaaaaah!!! It's good, though. Love the pain, right?? If I can keep this up for the next 6 weeks, I'll be in great shape when Regan gets back from Iraq!!
Anyway, I'm super tired and I think I'll try to nap for a little bit before Regan gets home.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Cute...Coil???
Hey yo! I'm going to have to make this short because I have to leave in about 30 min to meet the hubs and get our fingerprints taken! It's for the adoption.
Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and update about...stuff.
I have a new job! Again! I'll be working as a server at J.R.Rockers - yeah...that place I hate haha. Figures, right? They were the first place that offered. I was really close to turning it down (because...I hate that place), but 2 things kept me from bailing: 1) I whine a lot which makes me think I've forgotten how to suffer - a little hard work (at a place I hate with a horrible schedule) will do me some good! 2) the money will REALLY help out with our adoption fund! and BONUS 3) Since Regan is leaving for 6 weeks, I'm going to need something to keep me from dwelling on the fact that I'm totally alone in GERMANY AAAAAAAAH!!! Orientation is Thurs, and then who knows. I'm going to tell them I can't start until the day after Regan leaves, though...and they better just watch it because I'm half-way to quitting already haha!
Speaking of Regan leaving, I've given myself some goals to accomplish while he's gone!
1) Get my butt in shape (and the rest of me, too): I'm LAZY and don't work out enough (though I've been working out like a champ so far this week!) I don't have any specific goals for weight or measurements...I just want to work out consistently and eat healthy foods and feel GOOD about myself, you know? I want to feel healthy and maybe run another 10 K (or half marathon?) I'm tossing around the idea of keeping a work out/eating diary to help motivate myself. We shall see...
2) Crochet 1 scarf!! I tried to pick up crochet earlier this year and failed so hard it's not really funny. I figure, I'll have lots of time to sit alone watching TV...so why not try to crochet again? And a scarf is like easy crochet 101 type stuff. I can't fail...right?!
3) Sew some stuff!! That sounds vague...but I actually have a few things picked out: A couple of baby things for my sister (about to bust with baby any day now! YAY!), finish a dress I started 4 years ago, and a classy skirt! Also *maybe* work on an old cosplay that I only half-finished, some stuff to sell, and start work on my super secret very cool Pokemon project!!
4) Organize photos/mp3!! This is going to be an on-going, never-ending type thing, though...If I even work on it once a week, I won't count it a fail. I really want the photos organized so that I can print some family albums and I want my mp3's organized so that I can have music on my ZUNE!!
5) VLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think about it so much...I just need to do it. No reason. Maybe some part of my ego needs people to watch me talking?? The problem is I have no idea what to do haha! I just want to post something on Youtube...we'll see what it ends up being.
6) Make on-line stuff pretty!!!!!!!! Ever since I purged my on-line existence, all of my stuff looks ugly! I can't stand it. I need to make my myspace and DA pretty for sure, but I also want to make this and our family blog pretty. I have some little bit of photoshop skills, so I'm going to refresh them and try to make some cool stuff! YEAH!
7) Transpose my LJ so I can finally get rid of Kaohotplate there!! I started doing it before, but I want to start over. If I break it down and do a set number of entries per week, I should be able to get the whole thing done by the time Regan gets home. Then, if I'm earning enough money for us to have some extra cash, I'll starting printing them in books year by year!
Hrm...there are some other little things I want to do while he's gone, too...but they don't warrant a mention.
I look at a lot of other people's cooking/crafting/sewing blogs and I've realized that mine is lame...because I never have finished projects and fun tutorials and stuff! I just talk about stuff too much. I'm hoping that in the coming weeks as I work towards these goals, I'll have something to show for it. We'll see...
Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and update about...stuff.
I have a new job! Again! I'll be working as a server at J.R.Rockers - yeah...that place I hate haha. Figures, right? They were the first place that offered. I was really close to turning it down (because...I hate that place), but 2 things kept me from bailing: 1) I whine a lot which makes me think I've forgotten how to suffer - a little hard work (at a place I hate with a horrible schedule) will do me some good! 2) the money will REALLY help out with our adoption fund! and BONUS 3) Since Regan is leaving for 6 weeks, I'm going to need something to keep me from dwelling on the fact that I'm totally alone in GERMANY AAAAAAAAH!!! Orientation is Thurs, and then who knows. I'm going to tell them I can't start until the day after Regan leaves, though...and they better just watch it because I'm half-way to quitting already haha!
Speaking of Regan leaving, I've given myself some goals to accomplish while he's gone!
1) Get my butt in shape (and the rest of me, too): I'm LAZY and don't work out enough (though I've been working out like a champ so far this week!) I don't have any specific goals for weight or measurements...I just want to work out consistently and eat healthy foods and feel GOOD about myself, you know? I want to feel healthy and maybe run another 10 K (or half marathon?) I'm tossing around the idea of keeping a work out/eating diary to help motivate myself. We shall see...
2) Crochet 1 scarf!! I tried to pick up crochet earlier this year and failed so hard it's not really funny. I figure, I'll have lots of time to sit alone watching TV...so why not try to crochet again? And a scarf is like easy crochet 101 type stuff. I can't fail...right?!
3) Sew some stuff!! That sounds vague...but I actually have a few things picked out: A couple of baby things for my sister (about to bust with baby any day now! YAY!), finish a dress I started 4 years ago, and a classy skirt! Also *maybe* work on an old cosplay that I only half-finished, some stuff to sell, and start work on my super secret very cool Pokemon project!!
4) Organize photos/mp3!! This is going to be an on-going, never-ending type thing, though...If I even work on it once a week, I won't count it a fail. I really want the photos organized so that I can print some family albums and I want my mp3's organized so that I can have music on my ZUNE!!
5) VLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think about it so much...I just need to do it. No reason. Maybe some part of my ego needs people to watch me talking?? The problem is I have no idea what to do haha! I just want to post something on Youtube...we'll see what it ends up being.
6) Make on-line stuff pretty!!!!!!!! Ever since I purged my on-line existence, all of my stuff looks ugly! I can't stand it. I need to make my myspace and DA pretty for sure, but I also want to make this and our family blog pretty. I have some little bit of photoshop skills, so I'm going to refresh them and try to make some cool stuff! YEAH!
7) Transpose my LJ so I can finally get rid of Kaohotplate there!! I started doing it before, but I want to start over. If I break it down and do a set number of entries per week, I should be able to get the whole thing done by the time Regan gets home. Then, if I'm earning enough money for us to have some extra cash, I'll starting printing them in books year by year!
Hrm...there are some other little things I want to do while he's gone, too...but they don't warrant a mention.
I look at a lot of other people's cooking/crafting/sewing blogs and I've realized that mine is lame...because I never have finished projects and fun tutorials and stuff! I just talk about stuff too much. I'm hoping that in the coming weeks as I work towards these goals, I'll have something to show for it. We'll see...
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