Crap In My Cake

So...I've been having a rough week.

Regan left for Iraq last Tuesday and ever since then, I've had a run of bad luck and have been stuck in a major funk. I started work at JR Rockers (that restaurant I hate) and it's been going so bad. I can't stand it. I'm determined to stick it out, though! For the good of the family! I bumped the curb driving down to the base yesterday and popped a tire on Regan's car. The new *fun* camera I got already broke - I didn't even get one role of film out of it! I got bleach on one of my favorite shirts last night. I'm just...sad. I miss Regan a lot. Like, so much it causes me physical pain sometimes (like right now, for instance). I'm totally unmotivated to do anything. I just want to sit around doing nothing and feeling bad about it. Also, I've been eating junk food like crazy (downed a whole box of mini magnum bars. yeah.). I WANT to be productive and have a sunny disposition again...but at the same time, I want to be sad and miserable and cry about everything that goes wrong.

I realize...that I'm being horribly ungrateful and dramatic. It's like I can't help myself!

On the plus side, I did weed the strawberry patch yesterday and Beth said she picked up some tomato plants for me. To be honest, when I was in the garden yesterday, it was one of the few times I've felt peace since Regan left. I think I need to be in the Garden more often.

Anyway, I really AM grateful to have a job, albeit a horrible one, because I know a lot of other people back in the states would love to have my job! I'm also REALLY REALLY grateful to Heavenly Father for watching over me yesterday when I blew that tire - he placed that nice German man in the right spot at exactly the right time and he, literally, saved me. I was crying like a baby and he just got out of his car and said "where is your spare" and changed it for me. Just like that. It was a miracle. I'm 100% convinced and nothing you say can change my mind!

But I still miss Regan *sigh*

Workin' Girl: Starting Over

I think that sounds like the title of a book or something. Like the series is called "Working Girl" and this is the 3rd book in the series, with the first two being "Dream Job" and "The New Boss" haha.

So today I went through 86th Services orientation again. I just did it 2 months ago, so it was pretty fresh...which made today pretty boring. 8 AM - 2:30 PM - it was basically like one huge AFN commercial. And the people in the class with me were...interesting. There was one woman who was in her 40's who had worked with services before and seemed kind of confused about who was running the class - when people would ask the instructor questions, this woman would answer. And in case any of us were in doubt of how well she knew all the inner workings of EVERYTHING, she would interrupt the instructor during her explanations and nod knowingly while saying things like "yup" or "that's right" or "mmhm" to EVERYTHING that was said in the class. I'm a nice person, so of course I would never say anything...but there were a few times that I could tell the instructor was annoyed, and more than a few times that I was tempted to say "please...we get it. You've been through this. Could you just shut up?" The class got very comfortable, I guess, because towards the end people were just having random outbursts of personal stories that were littered with expletives. Really?? They all came across as SO low class...why do people talk like that? Especially in that kind of environment. But whatever. I was pretty quiet for most of the time - bored + tired = not as likely to participate. Plus the instructor recognized me and before every knew section would say "Now I know this is old news for you, Jessica, but bare with me" which would lift any obligation on my part to participate in the question/answer section since that would be unfair to those who had never been through the process before. At least...that's the excuse I used.

My fingernails are so long!! They have been growing like crazy ever since we moved here, I swear. It makes it hard to type, but usually I'm too lazy to go get the clippers. Maybe I should just see how long I can get them before they break haha.

Anyway, when we got done, I went straight over to JR Rockers to do some more in processing stuff. I pretty much bolted as soon as orientation was over even though I knew one of the girls in the class wanted to talk to me or something after. Here's my problem - I'm really friendly. I'll strike up random conversation and I'm good at looking and sounding interested. The problem is, it's usually not because I'm actually interested in forming any kind of long-lasting bond with a person. More likely, it's because I have nothing better to do. If I had ANYTHING else to occupy myself with, I would. So, as is often the case, the girl took a liking to me and wanted to be friends IRL or something...and I definitely wasn't interested. So...I just left in a hurry haha. It's funny, though, because earlier this week when I went in to turn in paper work, the girl I ended up dealing with had anime-style drawings all over her wall. We struck up a conversation and believe it or not, I actually AM interested in forming some kind of long-lasting bond with her! I hope we hang out and do stuff (anime party? cosplay party? some kind of party?) together. It's been a while since I've been interested in making a friend, so I hope I don't blow this by being distant and ignoring her haha!

Anyway, so over at JR Rockers, I had to read and sign a ton of papers, but I couldn't finish doing whatever it was I needed to do because the manager was in a meeting or something. Now I get to go back tomorrow morning. I don't care, though - I was ready to leave. I've been SO tired all day! I'm also really sore! I've been KILLING myself lately with work outs. I can barely lift my arms and every time I sit up, my stomach muscles scream at me! And lets not forget my legs! So stiff and sore waaaaaaah!!! It's good, though. Love the pain, right?? If I can keep this up for the next 6 weeks, I'll be in great shape when Regan gets back from Iraq!!

Anyway, I'm super tired and I think I'll try to nap for a little bit before Regan gets home.

Cute...Coil???

Hey yo! I'm going to have to make this short because I have to leave in about 30 min to meet the hubs and get our fingerprints taken! It's for the adoption.

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and update about...stuff.

I have a new job! Again! I'll be working as a server at J.R.Rockers - yeah...that place I hate haha. Figures, right? They were the first place that offered. I was really close to turning it down (because...I hate that place), but 2 things kept me from bailing: 1) I whine a lot which makes me think I've forgotten how to suffer - a little hard work (at a place I hate with a horrible schedule) will do me some good! 2) the money will REALLY help out with our adoption fund! and BONUS 3) Since Regan is leaving for 6 weeks, I'm going to need something to keep me from dwelling on the fact that I'm totally alone in GERMANY AAAAAAAAH!!! Orientation is Thurs, and then who knows. I'm going to tell them I can't start until the day after Regan leaves, though...and they better just watch it because I'm half-way to quitting already haha!

Speaking of Regan leaving, I've given myself some goals to accomplish while he's gone!
1) Get my butt in shape (and the rest of me, too): I'm LAZY and don't work out enough (though I've been working out like a champ so far this week!) I don't have any specific goals for weight or measurements...I just want to work out consistently and eat healthy foods and feel GOOD about myself, you know? I want to feel healthy and maybe run another 10 K (or half marathon?) I'm tossing around the idea of keeping a work out/eating diary to help motivate myself. We shall see...

2) Crochet 1 scarf!! I tried to pick up crochet earlier this year and failed so hard it's not really funny. I figure, I'll have lots of time to sit alone watching TV...so why not try to crochet again? And a scarf is like easy crochet 101 type stuff. I can't fail...right?!

3) Sew some stuff!! That sounds vague...but I actually have a few things picked out: A couple of baby things for my sister (about to bust with baby any day now! YAY!), finish a dress I started 4 years ago, and a classy skirt! Also *maybe* work on an old cosplay that I only half-finished, some stuff to sell, and start work on my super secret very cool Pokemon project!!

4) Organize photos/mp3!! This is going to be an on-going, never-ending type thing, though...If I even work on it once a week, I won't count it a fail. I really want the photos organized so that I can print some family albums and I want my mp3's organized so that I can have music on my ZUNE!!

5) VLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think about it so much...I just need to do it. No reason. Maybe some part of my ego needs people to watch me talking?? The problem is I have no idea what to do haha! I just want to post something on Youtube...we'll see what it ends up being.

6) Make on-line stuff pretty!!!!!!!! Ever since I purged my on-line existence, all of my stuff looks ugly! I can't stand it. I need to make my myspace and DA pretty for sure, but I also want to make this and our family blog pretty. I have some little bit of photoshop skills, so I'm going to refresh them and try to make some cool stuff! YEAH!

7) Transpose my LJ so I can finally get rid of Kaohotplate there!! I started doing it before, but I want to start over. If I break it down and do a set number of entries per week, I should be able to get the whole thing done by the time Regan gets home. Then, if I'm earning enough money for us to have some extra cash, I'll starting printing them in books year by year!

Hrm...there are some other little things I want to do while he's gone, too...but they don't warrant a mention.

I look at a lot of other people's cooking/crafting/sewing blogs and I've realized that mine is lame...because I never have finished projects and fun tutorials and stuff! I just talk about stuff too much. I'm hoping that in the coming weeks as I work towards these goals, I'll have something to show for it. We'll see...

It's A Beautiful Day!

So it's been a good couple of weeks. I've been working out regularly (finally) but I still have a ways to go before I'm really happy with my health - I know I'm thin, but I could be TONED! YEAH!

Here's a shot of my sewing room, for those of you who are interested. Once I get it totally set up, I'll take shots of the whole room and do a 360* thingy, k?

Aspect of love: Hello Kitty rug, of course!

On March 2, I took another German Baking class! Once again, I had a super great time and learned a lot! And once again, it made me long for a spring form pan! Why haven't I bought one yet?!?

The lady who does all of the baking!

We made three things:

- Exotischer Kokos-Kasekuchen (exotic coconut cheesecake): German cheesecake is weird.

- Nuss-Schoko-Taschen (Nut-Chocolate-Pockets): SO SO GOOD!!!!!
- Practvolle Ruli-Torte (Splendid Carrot Cake): It was adorable!!!

And here are some other non-German dishes I've made recently!

Shepherd's Pie

Yummers! It's just ground turkey with mixed veg in gravy, topped in garlic mashed potatoes! Easy and OH SO GOOD!

Look at me enjoying my dinner! I think this is the first picture I've posted of myself on here - enjoy!

Fish Sticks

Baked fish sticks, for your health! I loaded the mashed potatoes with dill because I thought it'd be good with the fish - and it was! Yay! The fish sticks were really easy. I just cut up some fillets and breaded them.

Spaghetti Chicken Casserole

This is a good thing to make when you just want to throw something in the oven and forget about it for a little while. It's just frozen mixed veg, raw spaghetti, chicken stock, cream of chicken soup, and cooked chicken cubes - throw it all together and bake it for about 45 min! TA DA! I didn't know if I'd like it, but it had a really good flavor and the texture wasn't too soggy (my main worry).

Last Saturday, I had the chance to go to a 4 hour professional writer's seminar. It was hosted by C.M.Jones (http://cmjonestheauthor.com/default.aspx). I've never read any of her work - she's an inspirational fiction writer, and that's not really my scene. She mostly focused on self-publishing. To be honest, I haven't given a whole lot of thought to how I'm going to eventually publish my writing - I figure I should probably have a completed manuscript first haha. But it was an interesting seminar none the less. I feel like I learned a lot more about the publishing industry, thought nothing new about writing. Speaking of writing, I better go do some of that!

Churros Churros Churros

So...I feel like every time I update this blog, I've changed my plans!

It looks like I'm leaving the full-time job! I'd say I'm sad about it, or even embarrassed or ashamed...but I don't care. I just really don't care. I am miserable and it's not cool. I'm going out today to try to get some other kind of job...ANY other kind of job. I was on call today but they didn't need me (thank gravy), so I have a lot to get done!

I'm going to sew something today. I don't know what...but something. After I get back from town (maybe around 1?) I've got some cleaning to do, but then it's sewing time!!! My husband suggested that I just TRY sewing a bunch of stuff with supplies I already have (which are many) and seeing if it can really be profitable for me. If it works out, than one of my life dreams will be realized! The bummer is that while I'm still at the current job, I'm only going to be able to sew on 1) days off and 2) at night - both of those times are usually reserved for quality time with the husband <3>

My novel is coming along slowly, but at least it's coming along! I re-wrote the chapter outline the other day and hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have chapter 1 done. Garth Nix posted a speach he gave at BYU back in 2005 (I think?) on his website and I read it the other day - it totally inspired me! He said he wrote his first novels (this includes Sabriel, the best book ever) WHILE working his full time job. He just wrote in the evenings and on weekends. There was a lot of other interesting stuff in there as well, but basically it made me realize that I can write whenever I want. If I really want to do it, I'll make time for it! This is true of anything in life, though. So I've been writing on my lunch break at work - I get a whole hour, so I might as well use it for something haha. In any case, I'm even more pumped about my deadline now and I'm really determined to do this! I just hope when all is said and done that I can get the thing published haha!

I cooked something German last week! Aren't you proud of me!?

Hackfleischschnecken

Basically, it translates to "ground meat rolls" - I have to say, it was definitely different! Basically, you make pancakes with lots of spices in them. At the same time, you brown up some ground beef and mushrooms with more spices. While you're doing that, make a sauce full of baccon and onions! Then fill the pancakes with beef, roll them up, cut them into sections, put them in a baking dish and pour the bacon/onion sauce over top. Bake for 30 mins and TA DA! Weird dinner is served! Actually, Regan and I both really liked it. I think next time I will use about 3x as much sauce, though. The sauce was fantastic and there just wasn't enough of it.

I got the recipe from a 2 CD set I bought from the USO last week that had every single recipe that the USO cooking/baking classes have done from 2000 - 2009!! It cost 20$, but there's over 500 recipe's in there! I can't wait to try more of them. While I'm talking about USO cooking classes, I signed up for 2 more for next month! A baking class on the 2nd (next Tuesday) and a SCHNITZEL class (YAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) on the 30th! I'm really excited about both! I had so much fun at the last one!

Last weekend, my husband and I went down to Strasbourg, France with some friends. It was only a couple of hours away, so it was an easy day trip. While we were there, I got my hands on a French cooking magazine! I made up some silly goals for myself while in Venice the other week - From every country we visit, I want to get a cooking magazine and at least 1 (preferably 2) Hello Kitty children's books in that language! I didn't get the HK books in France...but I didn't get the magazine in Italy! So...yeah. I'll keep working on that! I'm thinking we'll visit France on a fairly regular basis, since it's so close and all. So I'll have many more chances to get my hands on an HK book or 2! I have 1 German cooking magazine so far - I'd like to subscribe to one, but I honestly just don't know how. I'd like to get a few more German cookbooks as well (some in German, some in English).

Our friends we stayed with in Italy really inspired me about my goal to learn German! They've been in Italy for about 3.5 years and they're fluent in Italian now! I got some really good tips from them so I'm even more anxious for my skills to improve! So far, I'm still like...a 6 week old child haha. But hopefully by the time we leave here, I'll at least be like...10? maybe 12? haha. One can only hope!

Epic Fail or Epic Win?

Blaaaaaa~H! Hi. How's it going?

Ok, so I know that I totally blew any schedule I'd set for this blog. Totally not my fault. Both of our laptops have been unusable for a while now. We're waiting on a new power cord for one and a new start up disk for the other. Luckily!!! My husband is smart and remembered that we had a desktop compy, too!! So it's all hooked up and that's what I'll be using for the time being.

So how are my goals coming along? Well...slowly. I really haven't been doing very well at sticking to my schedules. I think maybe I'm trying to over-do it? I don't know. It seems like I should be able to do everything I want to...I don't see why it doesn't happen. And now it's going to get even harder because *TA DA* I've started a new FULL TIME job. It wasn't supposed to be full time...but it is. So my free time has been chopped down to pretty much nothing. I've used most of my free time to clean since I started the job. This simply won't do! If I can't feel like I'm still progressing in my hobbies, I think I'll be really unhappy.

Some good news - I've finally started on the novel I've had in mind for a while. I know I know: "Another project? REALLY? You're dumb." Well, be that as it may...I've done it. My goal is one chapter a week with the hopes of being finished with the book (at least finished enough for a serious edit to be shipped off to publishers) by the end of September. With any luck, that will put me on schedule to write the 2nd volume (yeah...it's going to be a series. Go ahead and make fun of me) for NaNoWriMo (since I failed so hardcore last year). Anyway, I'll try to keep track of my progress in here so you can follow along with how I'm doing!

I've really got to make time for my art as well - it's something I've decided I really want to focus on, along with writing. Don't get me wrong - sewing, crocheting, playing the piano, and all of those other things I'm trying to work on are important to me, too! But especially now that I've got such limited time, I feel like I should really pick just a couple of things to focus on. Of course, cooking is a daily thing so I'm always working on that (ps. the pics of things I've cooked lately are on the laptop that's missing a power cord - sorry). Sewing is kind of a 'have to' thing - like, I sew when I need a costume or something. It's going to happen because I'm going to Otakon in July! The only things I'm really worried about being totally neglected are the piano and my crocheting. I figure if I can just practice piano twice a week for 30 mins, I'll at least keep from completely falling off the wagon. As for crochet...maybe that can be my new Sunday afternoon activity??? haha. I don't know. I guess I'll have to make a new 'weekly activities' chart or something. I barely got to use the other one! Oh well - such it is.

My husband and I went to Venice over the weekend and I have to tell you...I'm totally inspired! For some reason that place makes me want to take up water coloring!!! haha maybe during the summer. I think that to take on anything else right now would be on the verge of insanity. As it is I feel like I'll never really be great at anything - I know I spread myself too thin. But I WANT to be good at everything! I want to know how to do and make everything there is in the whole world. It's pretty overwhelming haha

Anyway, I guess that's it for today. Hopefully I'll have more to actually report next time and be less dreamy with my goals. If I only I actually did everything I thought about doing ~ Life would be very different!

Productive Like A Rock Star!

I'm rocking this week so far! Seriously. I've been super productive every single day. The key to my success has been making and sticking to my TO-DO lists! Every night before bed I write out my list for the next day in my journal - I put it in my journal so that I'll have more accountability. If my posterity sees that I failed at my to-do list every day, how embarrassed I will be! In order to help maintain productivity and make sure I get everything done in a week that I want to, I made lists of chores and hobbies that I will work on each day of the week! Would you like to see them?

Monday
Hobby: Crochet, Family Blog, Study German
Clean: Kitchen, Bedrooms, Main Floor Halls, and Entryway

Tuesday
Hobby: Piano, Personal Blog, Sketch
Clean: Bathrooms, Living Room, Dining Room, Great Room

Wednesday
Hobby: Crochet, Writing, Study German
Clean: Kitchen, Bedrooms, All Halls and Stairs

Thursday
Hobby: Piano, Sewing, Sketch
Clean: Bathrooms, Living Room, Dining Room, Office

Friday
Hobby: Crochet, Personal Blog, Study German
Clean: Kitchen, Bedrooms, Great Room, Main Floor Halls

Saturday
Hobby: Piano, Sewing, Sketch
Clean: Bathrooms, Living Room, Dining Room, Sewing Room, Gym

Sunday
Hobby: Crochet

So far, it's working out great! Of course, it will need to be updated from time to time, but since I've only been doing it for like a week, it's too early to tell what will need to be changed yet. Today I have hardly any cleaning to do because I just cleaned everything so recently - that's the plan, though! If I can stick to the schedule, then *theoretically* I shouldn't have to spend 3 hours cleaning my bedroom ever again! It'd be like a dream come true! Today I haven't practiced German, written anything, or got out my crocheting...and (obviously) I'm a day late with my blog. But at least my cleaning is on track, right?? And I have German class tonight anyway, so I'll be forced to practice! HA~!

I keep forgetting to take pictures of things I cook lately, but here are a couple of things.

Flounder in Lemon Butter Sauce

I got the recipe from Taste of Home: Healthy Cooking! The fish totally fell apart in the frying pan and I have no idea why. I think that I'm just not that good at cooking fish - but I will improve! The sauce was really good, but I accidentally put too much lemon juice in it, so it was a little strong. My husband liked it that way, though, so it's all good! The sauce (which was the only thing I used a recipe for) was just butter, chicken stock, lemon juice, and a little flour. Very basic.

Herb Rubbed Pork

I got the recipe for this rub from, you guessed it, Taste of Home: Healthy Cooking! I really should branch out, huh? Anyway, it was just a mix of herbs and spices rubbed onto the pork - then I covered the pork and let it sit in the fridge for about 30 min. Then I put tin foil over a rack in my oven (since I don't have a roasting pan) and cooked it for about 30 min. I served it with my favorite side dish to make, garlic mashed potatoes! YUM! The pork came out really juicy and yummy!

As you may have noticed from my lists up there, on Tuesdays (and Thursdays) I have to sketch! I decided to add that because I just never draw anything anymore. I used to draw ALL the time! I was very active on DeviantArt and it was fun. For years I've just ignored that site and didn't draw anything. So yesterday I sat down and sketched something! It felt GREAT!! I'm really excited to keep sketching in the future - I really forgot how much fun it was. Here's the picture I drew:

It's a lovely Lolita! I decided to just pick a model out of one of my Gothic and Lolita Bibles (Volume 21) and try to sketch her. I ended up using about 4 pictures for reference, but the main picture was on page 50, if you're interested to know. I really liked the model's extra long hair! It made me want some extensions haha. Anyway, it took me about 3-3 1/2 hours to draw - I think that's one reason I haven't drawn anything in recent years! It just takes me so long. I was really happy with how her hair came out. Hair was always something I could pull off. I hate the sleeves. Originally I was going to do the skirt in plaid as well, but after the sleeves I decided that I didn't want to ruin the picture. In fact, as you can see, I just decided not to do much with the skirt at all. All in all, I'm pretty pleased. For a comeback piece, it's not half bad! If you're interested, here is a link to my DeviantArt page: http://cutecoil.deviantart.com/

Do you know what I love? I LOVE MY PEN PALS! I do. I love them all so much! I got a package from my German pen pal, Kristina, today! She and I have been pen pals for close to 8 years now, I believe. We have never met, but now that I live in Germany I'm sure we'll get the opportunity! She actually lives only about an hour from where I live now! Isn't that crazy? Of all the places in the whole world where my husband and I could end up, and we ended up so close to one of my oldest, dearest pen friends! Small world. Anyway, after I got her letter, I was feeling rather nostalgic, so I got out my 'pen pal box' - it's just a small file box where I keep every letter from my pen pals. I started looking through some letters from my oldest pen pal - Yayoi from Japan. We've been pen pals for close to 9 years now! I've known, and kept in contact, with her for longer than most any other person I know (outside of my family, obviously). She is an absolute sweetheart and I love her to death! I found one letter that she wrote to me back in 2005 that literally brought a tear to my eye. She said: "Do you know that I treasure your friendship? I consider myself lucky to know you. I hope that you know that you are special to me. I'll always be our loyal friend." AAAA~W!!!! I love my pen pals. Since moving to Germany, I've gained a few more - 3, to be exact. All of them are friends who I left behind in Ohio! Writing and receiving letters is so fun. I encourage all of you to go get a pen pal! Do it!