Crap In My Cake

So...I've been having a rough week.

Regan left for Iraq last Tuesday and ever since then, I've had a run of bad luck and have been stuck in a major funk. I started work at JR Rockers (that restaurant I hate) and it's been going so bad. I can't stand it. I'm determined to stick it out, though! For the good of the family! I bumped the curb driving down to the base yesterday and popped a tire on Regan's car. The new *fun* camera I got already broke - I didn't even get one role of film out of it! I got bleach on one of my favorite shirts last night. I'm just...sad. I miss Regan a lot. Like, so much it causes me physical pain sometimes (like right now, for instance). I'm totally unmotivated to do anything. I just want to sit around doing nothing and feeling bad about it. Also, I've been eating junk food like crazy (downed a whole box of mini magnum bars. yeah.). I WANT to be productive and have a sunny disposition again...but at the same time, I want to be sad and miserable and cry about everything that goes wrong.

I realize...that I'm being horribly ungrateful and dramatic. It's like I can't help myself!

On the plus side, I did weed the strawberry patch yesterday and Beth said she picked up some tomato plants for me. To be honest, when I was in the garden yesterday, it was one of the few times I've felt peace since Regan left. I think I need to be in the Garden more often.

Anyway, I really AM grateful to have a job, albeit a horrible one, because I know a lot of other people back in the states would love to have my job! I'm also REALLY REALLY grateful to Heavenly Father for watching over me yesterday when I blew that tire - he placed that nice German man in the right spot at exactly the right time and he, literally, saved me. I was crying like a baby and he just got out of his car and said "where is your spare" and changed it for me. Just like that. It was a miracle. I'm 100% convinced and nothing you say can change my mind!

But I still miss Regan *sigh*